I’ve finally hit that stage. You know, the stage of teenage self-criticism, i.e. “I’m not beautiful.”, “I look like crap.”, “My eyes are too small.”, “My face looks out of proportion.” Yeah, that stage. It’s driving me insane. Seriously. I just want to love the way I look, but it’s like there’s this other Diana saying that this isn’t enough.

So, I’m feeling like total crap at the moment. I’m developing such low self-esteem, that I’m being pushed to a wall full of makeover choices. But, I don’t want to! I mean… I feel the need to look beautiful, but I just want to be satisfied and happy with how I am.

It’s definitely driving me nuts; more so when I get to see beautiful girls out there in the magazines and television. There’s like an automatic response in my head telling me, “You look so ugly compared to her.”, or something along those lines. It feels like I'm so underdemiciated (for any of you who aren't familiar with the word, please do not search it up in the dictionary, for it was created by the adorable kids of BEDTIME STORIES, which means not appreciated) Argh! I love uniqueness, and I love myself because I am different, but there are times when I just…*groans in frustration*

Now, do you see why I titled this journal that way? @_@ Am I schizophrenic? Wahaha, okay, getting way over my head. Seriously. Am I? Or am I just going through a really really tough time in my teenage years?

BOTTOMLINE: I'm low on self-esteem.

I’m posting it here to vent out my frustrations. Sorry if I insulted or offended anyone with this, but that was never my purpose.

Anyway, I’ll try to control this persona inside me. :\ In the meantime, I’ll focus on my drawings and yeah~~ studies. College life sure is hectic. Haha.


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SasuSaku:

Vestige

Anata wo Aishiteru

Xie Xie Ai

The Actions We Speak

ItaSaku:

Sich Revanchieren

Frei Faszinosum


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